


The Big D-

by Lunaris_Chrysalis



Category: The Umbrella Academy
Genre: Fluff, M/M, domestic!Klave, prank, tiktok challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:13:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27437884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunaris_Chrysalis/pseuds/Lunaris_Chrysalis
Summary: Klaus finds out about this li’l TikTok challenge and decides to pull the prank on Dave.The challenge? Ask your husband what three things they’d take with them when they divorce.Dave’s reaction is on point.
Relationships: Klaus Hargreeves/David "Dave" Katz
Comments: 2
Kudos: 83





	The Big D-

**Author's Note:**

> So I randomly came across this amusing compilation of some of the results of the prank on TikTok. And I thought it was hilarious. Some answers were gold and really sweet, and then I was struck with inspiration to write a fic about it LoLXD I just typed this up for a few hours although this has been on my mind for a while, so pardon if it sounds weird. I just wanted to get this out there heheXD
> 
> For those curious, my reference and inspiration was this Youtube vid:  
>  _Husband React To “If We Got Divorce” | Divorce Challenge Prank TikTok_ from the channel Compile TikTok

“Babe,” Klaus called out to his husband Dave, who was preoccupied with feeding their one-year-old adopted son Benjie (named after Klaus’ deceased brother) a healthy snack of fruit bits.

“Yes, babe?”

From Dave’s perspective (he and Benjie-boy were sitting across from Klaus in their dining table, not that he was looking because the baby had majority of his attention at the moment), Klaus was busy on his phone, probably scrolling through Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook, which was exactly what Klaus wanted him to think. In truth, Klaus had his cam on video record, his hubby and baby son perfectly framed in the shot to capture their reactions as Klaus proceeded with a deceptively casual tone while keeping his eyes on his phone screen: “What three things would you take with you when we divorce?”

Dave’s head whipped up so suddenly. “Come again?”

“Knock on wood,” Klaus went through the motion, lightly rapping his knuckles on the hardwood surface of the dining table, “when we divor—“

“Apapapapapapapap,” Dave held up a hand as he kept his glance away, his face scrunched up with eyes closed tightly shut. When he summoned the courage to look at his partner, 50 shades of hurt were etched in all the creases that his frown created on his face. “Where-where are you going with this?”

Klaus dared to take his eyes off his phone as he casually shrugged at his husband. “It’s just a hypothetical div—“

“Apapapapapapapap,” Dave once again interrupted with a hand held up as if in praise at church. “The D-word will never be uttered or considered in this house.”

Inside, though, Klaus was howling in laughter, which he was doing a good job of reigning in as he continued the ruse. “Davey, baby, you never answered the question.”

“I am not entertaining that thought. No, sir.” Petulantly, Dave shook his head, his lips pouting as he went back to focusing on feeding little Benjie, as if putting the conversation way behind them now, so far back in the past they’d wonder if it actually happened.

Klaus was about to end the farce, cut the recording and tell Dave about this TikTok thing, but apparently, the former soldier had more on his mind.

“I’ll tell you what though,” Dave spoke up, though he was concentrated on getting the fruit to shoot inside Benjie’s mouth without it ending up dribbling down the chin, “when D-day comes—which it never will, so help me—“

Klaus curled his lips inwards, cushioned between his teeth to prevent any noise from coming out his mouth. He didn’t want to interrupt Dave’s tirade with ill-timed sniggering.

“—I am taking you, me, and Benjie to where there’s none of that.”

Klaus was still able to control his laughter as he retorted, “There are only two places in the world with no divorce—“ Dave made a sound of protest, head turning towards Klaus as if he had just cleanly uttered a profanity in front of the very impressionable baby who might repeat it for their first word, but Klaus powered on, keeping up nonchalance even though he was positively howling inside, “and hate to break it to you, love, but these two places also don’t have gay marriage, so,” Klaus lifted his shoulders and sustained it in a shrug to punctuate his point.

Dave had never looked so offended in his life.

At this point, Klaus couldn’t help it anymore and let out a wholehearted, full-bellied laugh, the mirth and mischief echoing deep in his bones. Even Benjie was a bit startled at the unexpected loud sound, but the baby eventually joined his father’s happy hysterics, his angelic giggles joining in the crazy cacophony of Klaus’ laughter.

Dave, however, was not joining the laugh trip. Still stumped from the question that came out of nowhere, he looked like he thought he was going crazy even though he wasn’t laughing along with the wild cackles and baby titter.

Klaus was still discreetly rolling, though, continuing to capture the moment (and Dave’s overreaction) for posterity.

“I can’t believe taking all my inheritance didn’t come to your mind first,” So apparently, Klaus was not yet done teasing his husband who was still reeling from the vestiges of agitation that the innocent hypothetical scenario had caused. He snapped his fingers. “Or the house. Or both. It would be a mess!”

“I’ll tell you what, if we were headed in that direction, my first call would be to a marriage counselor, not a lawyer.” Dave was still so very seriously taking all this like he was on Q&A for Miss Universe.

“Aww, babe,” Klaus walked around the table to face his hunky hubby with a pouty lip for a hint of adorableness and the hand that wasn’t holding his cellphone, he laid on his heart. “I love you so much.”

The tension in Dave’s shoulders eased from the love declaration, as if it dispelled any fears of falling apart and reinforced the strength of their bond. He had nothing to worry about.

“I love you too, love,” Dave got up from his seat so he could press a kiss to Klaus’ lips. They soon had to part however, when a bellow of indignation came from little Benjie who was currently scowling, not from the display of affection (and the fact that he was left out of it) from his dads, but from being deprived of the next spoonful of fruit. He’d been kept waiting too long.

“Whoops, sorry ‘bout that li’l fella,” Sheepishly, Dave hurriedly scooped some fruit bits to present to the kid; he was still on snack time duty, after all, and he couldn’t be slacking, even if it was to cozy up to his husband for a few seconds.

Turning away, Klaus ended the recording as he made his way to his original position. He leaned his upper body on the table, his elbows resting on the wood as he happily tapped on his screen to send the video clip to his siblings on their group chat while simultaneously running through restaurants in his brain. He was definitely going to surprise his darling husband with a dinner this week. But tonight, though, Dave was gonna get some mind-blowing sex for nailing the challenge.

**Author's Note:**

> So there you have a li’l trivia, there are two places in the world with no divorce and I live in one of them. Take a guess hahahahaXD
> 
> ~~Ans: Rome and Philippines~~


End file.
